Mindful Leadership Creed …
Show up and be present.
Tell the truth.
Play to win.
Don’t be attached to the outcome.
The last post focused on the first part of the Mindful Leadership Creed, being present. This post focuses on the second part of the creed: Tell the truth. As a consultant and executive coach being truthful sometimes requires great finesse! Take my experience with … a CEO/founder whom I’ll call Bob. Bob was an old-school leader who hired my company to change his company’s management system from command-and-control to team-based. After three years of intense work, the new system was mostly a success and the company was growing, but Bob struggled with the new system and flunked a leadership assessment.
Bob’s company was our best client, and when I had to give him feedback on his assessment, I was afraid he’d fire us. I spent three weeks stressing over how to tell him he’d flunked. Here’s what happened:
After our pleasantries, I said, “Bob, please don’t look at the results of your assessment; you didn’t score well and I’d like to give you my opinion. In psychological terms, you’re the most masculine leader I’ve ever worked with. You’re goal-oriented and you don’t let anything get in your way; it’s a big part of your success.” Bob sat up a little taller in his chair. I continued, “The management system we’ve implemented is very feminine. It’s cooperative and decisions are made by consensus. And there isn’t a feminine cell in your body.” His chest now noticeably expanded and he smiled. After that, I said pretty much anything I wanted and he listened.
At the end of our discussion, he walked me to his office door and gave me a big hug. (OK, just kidding about the hug.) He said, “TC, thank you. You’re doing a great job here.” Bob’s company continued to be one of my best executive coaching clients until he retired. By getting the truth out with Bob, and then the whole management team, we modified the management system so it worked for everyone.
How can you use finesse to share a tough truth
with someone important to you?
